This past weekend marked my ONE year anniversary with my husband. This year seriously flew by. I wish I knew you all while I was planning my wedding so I could have invited each of you! Overall my wedding was pretty intimate and laid back. We wanted our wedding to really reflect our relationship and love for one another. See more details of our big day [here] when we were featured on Southern Bride’s Real Wedding’s.
Over the past year my husband and I have accomplished quite a bit. We have owned a home, renovated a bathroom [and survived], changed jobs and found out we are having a baby. With each accomplishment, there has been many lessons learned regarding our marriage.
Today I wanted to share 3 lessons that I have learned over the course of our first year of marriage with all of you!
The first lesson that I learned is that marriage takes work. It isn’t a fate or luck thing. My husband and I are very different. He is level headed, thought out and logical. I, on the other hand, am sporadic, fly by the seat of your pants and if you don’t succeed at least you tried. While I think our differences really help to balance each other, it can also be frustrating at times. We vowed that regardless of our differences, we would choose to love each other each day and know that just because we are different in the way we do things, neither is right or wrong.
The next lesson that I learned was how to communicate effectively. Dillon thinks in black and white/point A to point B. I think in every color of the rainbow and am a little all over the place. Whenever we are having a disagreement or serious talk, I have to remind myself that I can’t just start pouring out everything in the past month that has led up to my frustration if I want him to retain anything I am saying. I have learned that it is best, before I start a discussion, to first give him the points that I am about to discuss before diving right in.
ex. “I am upset that you ate my left overs and did not ask me if I was hungry when I got home to see they were gone.” << a frequent argument in our house. Then go into “how that made me feel etc.” Before learning my lesson on this matter I would have just ranted on and talked 1000mph like I was free styling to a Drake Song only to leave him standing there like “uhhhhhhhhhhh?“
The last lesson I learned is to understand each others love language and use it. In my intro to Psych class freshman year, I read The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. I found that my love language is a combo of Quality Time and Receiving Gifts. When we began dating I had my husband also take the test [you can take it too here]. I found out that he was a combo of Physical Touch and Acts of Kindness. We both scored a 6 on Words of Affirmation. Knowing these things about each other really helps each person know exactly what to do to make the other feel special.
As we take on year 2 by growing our family and whatever other adventures come our way, I am sure to learn more lessons and hope to share them with you.